Get Out This Funk

i feel like blogging. not just posting pictures, but actually blogging. 

So a few people been asking me questions. and i get why. i haven't been as positive and hopeful or well just myself, like i usually am. for some reason i'm allowing everything to get to me. every things just so frustrating because its just been, a lot to deal with, think about, just a lot.... it just feels like my life was perfect at one point, and lately its been one thing after the other. and as soon as i get a grip on how to fix something another thing comes along. i just feel like so much is coming for me that its just time to accept everything. i won't even talk about things, but its just becoming overly draining.

Personally i just want to get out this funk. Realizing that i'll have to find a way to do it myself is really scary.. Not because I don't make myself happy, just been a little harder to do lately. So i know it'll take time. In the past when i feel myself coming to this point a visit home would usually do the trick for me. Just being around people who love you unconditionally, make you laugh, you can be 100% yourself with, is just something i need when i'm down. But i just see how happy everyone is and i know them dealing with what has been going on with me. I feel like bad news had been the only news everyone hears about me, so i've just been keeping to myself.

I know pain changes people. But for some reason, this time everything just feels different. You know when you've literally been through everything that you begin to think nothing else can effect you anymore, and than BOOM other things happen that you don't even know how to react, so your just numb? Yeah, Thats exactly how i feel. I just feel like in my normal life there are literally so many expectations, coming from everywhere and i just haven't had time to just relax and breathe before moving on. Its like there's bad, 100 expectations, and than on top of it all you have to find a way to block how you actually feel out. Just too much....

But this post wasn't supposed to be a sad post lol. I wanted to write this and just remind myself that I don't like this person i feel like i'm turning into. Like at all. But I know myself and even though i know it'll take a longer time this time. I want to get back to me. The happy, adventurous, bubble, laughing all the time Emma. So from today on I have to start working on getting back to that Emma. More Positivity, Laughing, Adventures, Goals Reached, Just Being You <3

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

— Marilyn Monroe