Hardcore

So this is just me wanting to blabber on this post. Talking to female friends recently certain things really just disappoints me. When people talk about the dating world I always come of as the "hardcore" one in the group. Lol. In this last convo I had with a friend she went on to tell me about how she really likes someone, but there not giving her the attention or same kind of "love" she wants back. He calls her at all hours of the day, always want her to come to him, the relation is always on his terms, he still see's other people, well pretty much when he says jump, she'll ask "how high?"

To me that is completely NONSENSE. I think when your in the "talking" stage or even before that with someone that you want to become serious with. You need to set your boundaries for the future relationship you want with them asap. And I guess that's what makes me "Hardcore". With any guy I've spoken too that wether I was interested in them, or they were interested in me. I make it known what type of person I am and what I expect from the relationship. In the talking stage, I will not tolerate any calls (mostly after 11pm) if it's not an emergency or we haven't previously discussed speaking at that time. Especially if I'm not interested in the person. If you want to see me, your going to have to make an effort, I expect doors to be opened for me, if we can go more than 2 days without speaking; I will not take it seriously, I refuse to even stick around if you are also seeing other people, there's certain levels of appropriateness I require. And man, I can go on and on. 

To someone looking on the outside and hearing me speak like this, I admit it does sound hardcore. But why decrease your value of expectations for someone you want to be serious with. If expectations are known in the beginning; trust me you'll be less disappointed if things do go further with the relationship. 

I just think with our generation (more due to social media) most girls feel like they have to tolerate certain things, and than accept being treated a certain way because it's what people do/how people are nowadays. And that is completely WRONG. If that person your interested in won't even respect you enough to meet those expectations in the beginning stages. You shouldn't want to be with them anyway honestly. 

People always place themselves in a situation and then later on as themselves how things ended up the way they did in a relationship, or wonder why the person is unable to make the changes that they want. And ultimately end up so unhappy and continuously hurt by the person. My advice to girls these days who do allow things that they know they want to change in the future with someone is to:

1.) Set those boundaries and expectations with the person as early as you guys even exchange numbers. Let that person know how you like to be treated and if you don't like something, speak up. No one is able to read anyone's mind and if it's who you want a relationship with. They should be willing to understand and work on meeting your needs.

2.) Vale yourself more. Like I get it. We all have flaws. Yes there will always be someone prettier, smarter, with a better body ect. Whatever your insecurities are. Let that go and don't tolerate what you don't want to because you don't feel good enough for the person. Look at yourself as the most powerful women on the planet and demand to be treated like one. Or let that person go. 

3.) Be yourself. In the beginning stages. Most people usually end up being the person that they think the other individual wants to be with. Like stop. If your yourself in the beginning with someone you want, let them see that side. So they won't end up hurting you because of when you do become yourself they end up not liking that person. 

4.) My last advice thing would have to be to allow chances and room for growth. I know with everything I typed, it seems pretty harsh. But at the same time I think we're all stuck in the mindset that our generation and has. And with wanting all your expectations meant. Your going to also have to give the person time to meet them. When something happens, let them know and yes expected the changes. But you have to give people time to get things right. We don't all change asap, so allow them some time to meet your expectations. But if you do say what you want and you have to consistently tell them every time after, or don't see any changes. Than the person isn't serious at all. 

Okay I'm done lol, enjoy your day guys <3